My blog may appear silent to you but on my end, it’s been a place of safety. I have processed intense pain, tears, and abandonment. At the time, I knew it was important to document these words because in doing so I felt closer to God. I just didn’t feel it was right to share those words with the world. I don’t know if I ever will share them, but through writing about my feelings I did find a measure of healing and for that I’m thankful.
Last night, I sat at my laptop and wrote for over an hour. I shared my word for 2021 and reflected on my word for 2020. Yet, I didn’t click the publish button. I prayed over each topic and the words I wrote. So, why did I lack the boldness to share my message with you? I can answer that with one word: Fear. Fear of what you might think. Fear of not being understood in a way that makes me feel safe.
The world is full of women who are hurting because a church hurt them. I know I’m not alone in this hurt. I know if they are reading this then they understand my fear. I wish I could sit with each of them. Get down in the hurt and ugliness and cry with them. They desperately need to hear they are loved. Even more than loved, they are needed. There are women I have communicated with who need to hear the words: God is not finished with your story. I now understand that this ministry can not happen if I continue to remain silent. Fear has no place in my story or my ministry.
So, this is just the beginning of us learning to be bold and share our story. Can we learn together?
There is a story burning inside of me. I believe it will minister to you, but I need God’s help to tell it. It’s not a story that will bring me glory or happiness. It’s simply the truth about the state of our church today. Please pray with me and I will pray with you. Let’s learn to walk with boldness.
The word boldness is a noun and defined as: “willingness to take risks and act innovatively; confidence or courage.” Who is ready to be bold with me?
Let’s connect and encourage one another to be bold in a world that prefers silence. suburbanthoughtsblog@gmail.com
I am very proud of you, Stacey.
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That means a lot to me. I’m sending you a big hug.
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